Thursday, August 27, 2015

Salt Lake City Marathon

I love running. It's something that has taught me more about myself than anything else I've tried before. I don't race though. I get medals for working out which I deserve.

Remember that one time I overshared?
yeah me neither. Except yes. I do remember that. That happens in my life. Sometimes it helps people sometimes not. Well this is a sort of personal post. Basically to say I'm an ambassador for the Salt Lake City Marathon. I have a discount code. It's for 5 dollars off any race and it's janaeslc16 so on checkout you pick me as your Lifetime ambassador and use a code to save 5 dollars. is the site to sign up.
Guys this last little while has been really hard. I've missed my kids like crazy and wanted to give up on everything I've worked hard to get in the past few years. So I post happy things on instagram and go to work and make little goals like get up, show up, and don't quit life. I also sign up for races.
Let me  tell you a little about myself. If you haven't known me before here's a picture of me a while ago. When I say a little while ago I mean I weighed over 200 lbs in this picture. I have a bracelet from showing up at the hospital when Danielle was born. 257 lbs. I had pitting edema.  I had been on bedrest for a lot of my pregnancy. My blood pressure was super high.
I was miserable.

You probably haven't ever seen a picture of me at this weight. There weren't many. One day my sister was like- yeah but when did you become one of those people that never has pictures of themselves? Everything on your facebook is of your kids, it would be nice to see you sometimes.
I took some pictures. I hated them. I became one of those people over 200 lbs. I hated almost everything about my body. I've always worked out. Didn't lose a lot of weight.
My friend Linda asked me to sign up for the Salt Lake City Half Marathon. I was like- yeah I'm a terrible runner. I am. I started running because I had no natural talent at running but there was a girl name Karen in my church group and she was a runner and she was beautiful. So I would count to 100 then stop and walk. Then count to 100. My feet would go numb. I legs hurt. I was stepping wrong. I pounded the ground. I held my neck wrong. I was breathing wrong. I signed up. I tried to train in the morning before work with a Hal Higdon marathon training plan that I copied from online.

I had IT band pain. My sister who was a massage therapist would give me a massage after every run. I missed a lot of long runs. My longest run was actually 7 miles before the race. It was miserable. I was still counting to 100. This was the first major marathon after the Boston bombings and it was a great experience. Actually it was cold and raining and I coudn't get the right playlist going on my phone so it kept re-starting. I thought I was going to die for like 60% of it. I walked.
It took me over 3 hours to finish. I went to my mom's house and slept for hours. My friend went to hike zions that day. I couldn't walk the next day.

Then I decided that I was going to finally run a marathon like I had on my bucket list. I hated running. Every minute of it was pure hell. I met with an orthopedic surgeon who specialized in running. I got a controversial shot of cortisone in my knee. I met with a trainer to help me build my strength so I wouldn't have IT band problems.

I lost some weight. Like sort of a lot of weight. Most of my marathon training was also on a treadmill while my kids were in daycare. I'm a single mom I missed some of my long runs since I didn't organize myself enough to have childcare. My sister gave me a massage after long runs. I ran the marathon. I think at some point I was passed by a 79 year old wearing an inspirational shirt about having done one billion million marathons.

I had a terrible time. I actually had missed enough training that I considered just doing the half then at the turnoff I felt OK. So I made a horrible mistake. I went on the marathon course. It was beautiful. The weather was nice. I didn't run a step after mile 21. I thought I broke my foot. I kept saying- this is the most painful thing I've ever done. Then I said- well having a baby with no drugs was worse. - then I was like- yeah but it was WAY faster. I hated it. Then I signed up for another race that day. I could walk the next day.
I did the 5K with my daughter. She likes to say "I'm faster than you are" but she sometimes walks too.

Running saved my life in so many ways. The adjustment of being a single mom from being so miserable and hating myself and where I was- that was hard for me. I remember the first time I actually like- wait this is what a runners high is- this is what they are describing. This one one year after my marathon- on mile 9 of a half marathon.

I've lost a lot of weight with working out and running and eating healthy. People ask me how I do it. I tell them I do it slowly. I lose a 10-20 lbs a year. Sometimes I don't lose any weight. I have to focus on it. Running taught me two things.
First- I'm slow at these things. I'm not a fast runner. I've improved a lot. It's Ok to be slow.
Second- I'm not very positive. I hated being chubby. I wished my body could do more. and I'm still not where I want to be. It's OK to be where you are. I was never one of the people who suddenly saw the light and never doubted myself.
You don't have to be fast. You don't have to be positive. You just sign up and get up.
I don't usually celebrate the journey. I'm not always happy with where I'm at because I'm not at goal weight. I like to challenge myself. I always thought- if I can run a marathon I can do anything. I could be faster. I could be thinner. I could have polished this blog post more.

It is enough. I wish I could share the confidence I've gained through running. I wish I could share the knowledge that you can go from being a stay at home mom to being a marathon runner who earns enough to pay for her kiddos. If you can run. you can do anything. I can't do everything, but I would love to do this run with you. You can save 5 dollars with my code too.

Here's to your journey.

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