These were some of the things I lost in the divorce. I filled three of the apothecary jars with candy corn. I don't know if you know this but candy corn is a delightful looking holiday decoration. Now I would change all the picture frames in the house to our Halloween silhouettes I made in my spare 30 hours one year and loved. Then came the jars. I really wanted orange and white and yellow gumballs but apparently if you go and buy roughly ten tons of candy corn and say no one can eat it your husband doesn't want you to traipse out to the party store and spend 300 dollars on matching gum-balls and sixlets. Weird.
So I settled for candy corn And promised that we could recycle it not just eat it.
To be fair I have to disclose that I'm not and was never one of those people who felt like I couldn't do something because my husband didn't "let me." I hate it when people say that shit. He won't let you buy a sandwich? Maybe divorce his controlling ass. Oh wait I am divorced and I digress...
So candy corn and apothecary jars. There is something delightful about matching candy. I really liked it but I also felt strongly that we should give out pretzels or goldfish to kids. Candy is for decoration! Ok always goldfish no one likes pretzels they are shit. I loved my apothecary jars they went great with my pottery barn candles and festive little black gems my kids love to play with. I can't decide if I like them or sparkly skull votive holders more. I kept the candles but didn't think the jars could make the move.
Here I am as the Halloween decorating season is in full swing trying to think of how to budget for new apothecary jars and matching candy.
I could get some high res images of candy corn and get the unhung frames out of the garage with lovely pictures. Maybe I could re-make the silhouettes of cats and a haunted city while I was on the phone at work. Maybe I could just take pictures of candy corn cookies since cookies are important in my life now.
First I have to make good cookies. I looked at some online and I have to tell you- candy corn melts like crazy. Like want to tear your hair out when you are trying to make them. No joke if you add them to the top 5 minutes before your cookies are done like with mini marshmallows that's not going to work. Don't even suggest adding them to the dough or I will punch you. So there are all these Pinterest cookie recipes and I'm like- I wonder if those are fake or an approximation like when people asked me how much sugar I added to cookies and I want to say as much as looked right but instead I say 2 cups and omit the give or take a cup.
Seriously when people ask how much vanilla and flour I added the answer is " enough." But most people don't understand that. So I make something up. Just like this year I'm trying to get successful candy corn cookies. This is my fourth week. I'm using a Pinterest recipe. I didn't even photograph most of my attempts and there is a very good reason for that. They looked terrible. (Tasted OK)
So next time you look on Pinterest for a recipe just know that I'm there too, thinking most of the recipes are crap and trying to learn more about bread flour in cookies. Cool right? I'm not sure I think I will have to test extensively. Luckily I have a lifetime full of cookie Sundays where I can learn more and hopefully teach my children his important it is to actively spread joy.
I got a recipe from Pinterest from Averie cooks and used it for these cookies.
I split the dough to make sure each cookie would have a base without candy corn.
I made a double batch. I also looked at her website for over an hour and thought about how her cookies would taste. It's normal to study recipes online.
You can check the recipe out on her site or I will type out what I did. Her site is pretty good. I am going to try her recipes and I will link to them when I do.
Candy Corn Cookies
1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
cream together
2 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
4 tablespoons heavy cream
mix together until just incorporated (I actually used whipping cream which turned out OK
Kid Bowls!
3.5 cups flour (heaping)4 tsp cornstarch
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
mix together with a wire whisk and split evenly into 3 bowls.
Add each bowl one at a time.
for the last bowl switch from the whip attachment to the dough/cookie attachment of your mixer.
Split dough into 3 parts and put one in an airtight container. Refrigerate.
1 bag candy corn (larger bag)
1 bag chocolate chips
mix into dough- do not overmix and be careful that candy corn doesn't break.
Chill overnight or freeze 1 hour.
When you are preparing your dough take the portion without candy corn in it and make a 2 inch by 1/4 inch circle. Then scoop the candy corn dough on top- it's important to have this layer to make sure the candy corn isn't touching the cookie sheet. This can lead to a candy corn explosion and the end of the world.
Baking directions- bake at 350 for 9 minutes. They won't look done. take them out and leave them on the sheet. It's a soft batch cookie so they look different.
NOTE: you can use 1/2 self rising bread flour and they will rise more.
NOTE: I don't usually use cornstarch because I feel like you can taste it. I did in this case. The candy corn sort of overpowers the taste. I'm not convinced that most people can taste it.
NOTE: I used Giradelli white chocolate chips. I will blog about different chocolate chips soon because they all have very different tastes. I have strong feelings about them which I think you get after a few years of making cookies.
The Three stray neighborhood kids that were living at my house this Sunday liked the cookies. They brought some home. I think because I make cookies I get a lot of stray neighborhood kids. It's fun.
When Candy Corn cooks it gets darker. That way you can tell your friends you put siracha hot sauce in your cookies.
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